Speaking of Atonement
I just finished reading the book by Ian McEwan and it knocked the wind out of me. Wow, what a great book. The first section of the book was simply gorgeous in the style of Virginia Woolf--subtle, sensual, and thought-provoking. The other sections of the book were no less wonderful, although the ending was so unbearably sad.
I'm only sorry they made a movie out of it because now everyone will think I read it because of the movie. (I hate it when that happens.) No, I have not seen the movie version, although I suppose I will because I'm anxious to see what Hollywood did with such a fantastic piece of writing. No doubt they ruined it, and I guess that makes me a masochist.
Anyway, read the book if you're so inclined. It's one of the best books I've read in a very long time. Labels: Books
At one
Wow, wow, wow. It has been a really long time since I've blogged. I nearly forgot I even had a blog!
Well, here I am, people. The last couple of months have been tumultuous--a new job, the holidays, new car, new apartment--and I hardly know where to begin.
I love my new job, by the way. It keeps me busy, challenged, and interested every day. I'm still learning so much, and I've been here for more than two months now. I love working with HarperCollins, I love working at Amazon, and of course I love all the free books! I don't have time to blog about everything awesome at my new gig, but suffice it to say I feel very lucky that things turned out this way.
The holidays were great, too--I finally had enough money to buy gifts for people, and it was fun to spend time picking out thoughtful gifts for the people I appreciate. I got some nice swag, too, so hooray for the holidays!
Switching gears a bit, I wonder if any of you get words stuck in your head. Some people get songs stuck in their heads, I get words. Lately the word ATONEMENT has been on my mind, which is nice because it also happens to be one of my favorite words. (Oh my gosh, that was geeky. Moving on....) Spiritually speaking, atonement is the process of literally becoming "at one" with God; hence, at-one-ment. Isn't that beautiful? Although technically this means to repent or ask forgiveness, there are so many things in life that would benefit from simple at-one-ment.
Anthony and I broke up last week, and the adjustment to everything that entails has been a time of atonement for me, speaking literally: I'm learning how to be "at one" with what happened in our relationship, this new period of living alone again, and simply navigating the murky waters of sustaining a friendship with Anthony as we try to mend ourselves. And yes, it has also been a time of spiritual atonement, as we look for ways to forgive ourselves and each other for the ways we hurt each other. I have faith that we will come through this and be much better for the experience. It hasn't been easy, but as Shakespeare said, "there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so." I'm trying to look positively on this change in my life, and in the process I am learning how to atone.
Anyway, many exciting things on the horizon for me, and I dearly wish I could write about them all now, but work calls. I will endeavor to be more diligent about this little weblog, but for now, ta-ta!
Dystopian novels
Hi, everybody!
So lately I've been on a dystopian-novel kick. I am not really into science-fiction, but I've discovered that dystopian novels help me process contemporary reality, and give me new ways to think about politics. And hey, let's be honest: the world we live in today is not a far cry from the dystopias of Atwood, Orwell, Huxley, and McCarthy. (If you disagree with me, you're obviously not reading the news.)
Back to the novels. My favorite dystopian novel is, hands-down, The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I love the pacing, the agonizing slowness of this novel, for one thing. As a reader, you really feel the depression and boredom endured by the main characters. Furthermore, for all its commentary on society and politics, you can never pin down the author's opinion: just as the politics of reality are infinitely complex, the politics in The Handmaid's Tale are shaded with gray areas. It is clear from her attacks on conservatism and religious fanaticism that Atwood places herself on the left side of the political fence, but it is impossible to tell where she stands in regard to other issues such as feminism, marriage, and economic policy. Atwood also sheds necessary light on subversive political tactics like social conditioning, media manipulation, and false-flagging. There are several themes in this novel that strongly resonate in our contemporary reality, and reading it will help awaken your mind to the dangerous possibilities of society's present course. Not too much violence, mainly suggestion. Sexual, but not sexy, situations. Read this right now.
I've also recently read 1984 by George Orwell. Wow, what a fantastic book. For some reason I did not read this in high school like the rest of you, and I'm very sorry I am only just now discovering this great novel. The plot of 1984 was so engrossing that I had to force myself to put it down so I could cook dinner, or go to work. This book has a bit more violence and much less poetry than The Handmaid's Tale, but it is nonetheless very provocative. I loved Orwell's predictions for technology, especially in the case of governments' monitoring of their own citizens--something that is definitely happening at this very moment. Orwell also points out the perilous efficacy of false-flagging (hello, Iraq?). This is a chilling novel, all the way through, but not quite as chilling as...
The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Some people may not call this a dystopian novel--perhaps apocalyptic is a better term--but I don't want to squabble. This novel certainly describes a world that is completely the opposite of Utopia, so I'm going to include it on this list. To be honest with you all, this book is so horrifying that I made a rule for myself: no reading The Road before bed. A few dozen pages later, I put it down and have not yet worked up the courage to finish reading it. The strange thing is, this book has almost no physical violence, from what I've read so far. Just lumbering, hovering, ever-present doom and the desperate struggle to survive in a world that is literally on fire. And, nearly as bad as the lumbering, hovering, ever-present doom are the heart-wrenching descriptions of a father's love for his young son. It's a beautiful and haunting novel, but it's not for the faint of heart (like me).
Animal Farm, also by George Orwell, is a shorter, microcosmic Disney-fied version of 1984. Animals are the main characters in this dystopia, and they can walk on two legs, talk, and basically function as though they have higher brain functions and opposable thumbs. The political commentary of Animal Farm is thinly veiled and not especially thought-provoking. I did, however, enjoy the final paragraphs of this novel.
I did read Brave New World by Aldous Huxley in high school, and I remembered liking it very much at the time. Lately, when I became bored by all of the books I currently own, I decided to re-read it. At present I am only about halfway through the novel, and I must admit I am not as impressed this time around. Dystopian burnout? Maybe. For me, the most interesting aspects of the novel occur at the very beginning, when the author describes a new way of propagating the population. I'm still holding out for something interesting to happen in the second half of the book. Or maybe I should just buck up and finish The Road.
Labels: Books
Hippie wisdom, with a side of economics
Hello, November! Where did this year go? I am normally a major hater when it comes to wintertime, but a certain someone changed that for me last year, and I am really looking forward to cold and snowy mornings at home, bundled up days out in the city, and walks and dates in frosty evenings. Hooray for winter.
So many changes this winter, too. With the advent of a new job, I feel it is a time to do some mental housecleaning. I have spent many months wallowing in the dejection spawned by an unsatisfying situation at work. I am so ready for that to stop. This weekend I spent a lot of time thinking about how exhausting it is to think. I am so tired of being inside my own head, constantly worrying, planning, evaluating, analyzing, fearing, scheming, worrying. Now is the time for a new mental exercise: letting go. All the critical, analytical, compulsive thoughts swirling in my brain, well, they don't help me get anywhere as a sentient, intelligent human being.
I would like to get the word "relax" tattooed on my hand in curvy script. I need a reminder that the universe provides for me, every single day, in so many ways that I take for granted. On a basic level, I have been provided with good health, good family, a good mind, and a purpose. I have a job, food, a roof over my head, clothing, reliable transport, and all the other little things that facilitate a relatively easy life.
Last month I was very poor, for whatever reason...I honestly have no idea where my tiny paycheck goes every month. But that's beside the point. Despite a near-total lack of funds, I managed to make it through the month with enough food and probably more entertainment than most people in the world. It's important to remember that.
Furthermore, Anthony has been teaching me a lot about what he calls "human capital." From what I understand, human capital is who you are and what you would be able to offer the world even if you found yourself suddenly broke, jobless, homeless, and friendless. We all have human capital--it's our intelligence, initiative, willingness to work, our capability to ask for help and offer it to others, our determination, our compassion, our spark.
Perhaps we all should consider inventorying our human capital. It goes along with the chronic need to relax. Once we are aware of our human capital, no circumstance could possibly destroy us.
In any event, I am dedicating myself to the practice of relaxing, of letting things go, of allowing myself be 24 and fully enjoy it, letting myself make mistakes without mentally berating myself. I want to start believing the best of everyone and stop looking for the shadows created by every ray of sunshine. It's time to let go of insecurity and inner critics, and begin chasing down all the fun and happiness in life.
Starting right now.
Well, as soon as I get off work.
And the universe smiles.
Finally, finally, finally!
I got a new job. I am so relieved, ecstatic, nervous, excited, curious...basically, fill in the blank. I start in two weeks and one day (although I am still hoping to start earlier). Anyway, this is going to be great.
Fathers and Sons
If you're into literary biographies or if you enjoy British humor, you should pick up a copy of Fathers and Sons by Alexander Waugh. Recognize the last name? Alexander Waugh is the grandson of the literary giant Evelyn Waugh, the nephew of lesser literary star Alec Waugh, the great-grandson of historian and all-around ineffably silly sentimentalist Arthur Waugh, and the son of the comic journalist and general bellyacher Auberon Waugh.
Quite a pedigree.
Fathers and Sons follows five generations of literary Waugh men as they all, in a grand and twisted family tradition:
-get expelled from English prep schools, -scrape by at Oxford, -resist and then embrace the "family business" of writing, -get married, -have children, and -screw them up.
The story of the Waughs is wickedly funny and at times nearly heartbreaking. The relationship between Arthur the elder and his son Evelyn is by far the most excruciating--as a child, Arthur systematically neglected Evelyn, his younger son, in favor of Alec, his oldest. Alec was a talented and prolific writer himself, although he was not nearly as brilliant as Evelyn. Nonetheless, their father esteemed Alec on a level usually confined to kings and religious figures. As such, Evelyn treated his own children with affectionate disinterest and often described them as filthy, illiterate, boring, or downright crazy in his letters to friends. Evelyn's son Auberon thusly treated his own children with indifference, calling each one by random names as they popped into his head (so each child was, at different times, referred to as Nigel, Bernie, George, etc.). In life, it sounds rather cruel, but in Fathers and Sons it is highly amusing.
Told largely through letters preserved across the generations, Fathers and Sons presents modern literature's most luminous family from a unique and intriguing perspective, and this memoir is perhaps one of the finest, most touching tributes to fathers and grandfathers ever published.Labels: Books
What's a blog?
Is anyone else really, really amused by the homepage for Blogger? I love the introductory field that says "what's a blog?" in clear, bold type. I can't explain why, but I just think it's insanely funny.
Anyway...lots of excitement in the air these days! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix comes out tonight at 12:01am, and although I will not be going to the first screening, as is my custom (stupid real-world job!), I am very excited to see it in due course, perhaps on Friday evening with Twizzle and my little brother. If I can convince Brad to come up to Seattle, we may even see it in IMAX. Aw, heck yes. Of course, the final installment of the HP series comes out in a little less than two weeks. I still have not reserved a copy for pick-up at a midnight party, but this afternoon I will be in the vicinity of Seattle's best independent bookstore, Elliott Bay, at which point I may nip in and put my name on the list.
Speaking of Elliott Bay and my business thereabouts...well, I'm not going to jinx it by writing about it, but keep your fingers crossed for me. Hopefully I will have some very good news for you all at the end of the day.
Also, visits with Laurie and Stephanie are on the horizon and I am so stoked because lately I have a social circle of about four. I'm also hoping for some happy hour action with Maria, which will only happen as soon as I call her, so...note to self....
Southern Odyssey in less than two weeks!
Headed to Pioneer Square in about 40 minutes, with a full update to come.
